Not-So-Secretly

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful."

~Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

My love affair of pocketbooks and shoes has been life long.  My mother had always dressed me in the cutest outfits,  of which were always accessorized with matching hair clips and bubblies, and a haute pocketbook!!! Mom's friends would put money and candy into them whenever they saw me...little did everyone know, they were all feeding my addiction to The Material. My grandmother, a diva all in her own right, was very fabulous. Since her youth in Guyana and throughout her life in America, she was known as "Princess" to everyone who knew her. Always so chic and poised. Never without a beautiful pair of heels, a gorgeous purse, and long, finely polished nails. She and mom raised me to always take pride in the way I look...(You never know who's watching *wink*). I was born to be a fashionista (read: "fashion slave!") in my own way, and how could I deny my roots? They say, "Nature Versus Nurture", but in my case, both bred the same ideals! Inescapable! Indeed, I followed suit. This is when the story really began:

Every school year, mom would buy me new shoes, but I can recall one very specific school year,  that was a defining moment in my love affair for all things lovely.  For fourth grade, Mommy bought a gorgeous pair of brown patent leather crocodile embossed loafers! Oh Was I In-Love!!! The lovely new leather smell, the deep variations of browns imbedded in the leather, the texture of croc-embossment, the shine of the patent leather...As I lightly ran my fingertips over the shoes, with a twinkle in my eyes...in my mind, I secretly whispered, "Yesss!" Later that evening, being tucked into bed before school in the morning, I asked mom to pass my new box of shoes....and she laid the box next to me. I awoke the next morning, as if from a dream of clouds and wonderment...and all was well. And since then, I knew...this addiction was deadly.

Within the last three years, I have accumulated a collection that is Vibrant, Funky, and Oh-So-ME!  I've always purchased purses and shoes that I felt said: "ME".  However, while in my last years of college, I became part of the TPF community, specifically the Rebecca Minkoff subforum and forged online friendships with many lovely ladies, who encourage and feed my purse addiction, always with the best intentions. My purse collection began to become more polished, with more contemporary handbag and shoe brands, finding a distinctive style emanating "youth & beauty", which is a playful nature I hope never to lose, even in my 70's. Forever will I be young, pretty and happy, even in my old age, when I'm crawling with warts, hemorrhoids, and afflicted with terrible arthritis! I love life too much to let those things keep me from popping color and love! I love all kinds of purses and shoes...as long as I find something that calls to my identity, whether it's cheap or costs several hundred dollars...I'll make it my own. You can't walk away from destiny!

Within one year, I have developed another craving that wets my appetite...daily! NAIL POLISH! I stopped biting my nails last fall, and began conditioning them with protein treatments and cuticle oils/cremes, as well as buying a polish here and there to wear so as to not be tempted to destroy my newly grown tips. (Gross! Who wants to chew on paint pigments?! Polish is a great deterrent!) I followed the Nail Care sub-forum on TPF, admiring from afar, the lovely manicured fingertips of so many different women. And suddenly...VOILA!  Out came a nail polish addiction from the fiery ashes of chewed nail bits, as though my newly manicured hands arose from the depths of bitten-nail-tips-hell, springing to life with new growth like a fiery, blossoming phoenix! Sizzlinggggg! Oh, the wonders of beautiful clear bottles filled with love, hope, happiness and desire!!! What more can you ask for in a product?! It's all too easy to accumulate a collection for these beauties...and what an expensive and time-consuming addiction they have become! Purses and Shoes have taken a backseat, (in another car!), after I had succumbed to the polish craze. With every bottle I open, the cutest little fairies fly out and shower me with their glittering fairy dust!!! C`est Magnifiquè!

Ella Fitzgerald had it right...well before I knew I would have these obsessions, this woman described my love affair for my beloved Trifecta so clearly.  I gaze at my beautifully polished nails in amazement, I caressingly brush my fingertips across the smooth or grained leather of a finely made purse, filled with joy, and I prance around in gorgeous heels or oxfords that cause me to skip, spin, and release a laughter so heavy, so pleasurable, I smile to myself!  And when it's time for each manicure to be removed, and when I must lay a purse or shoe to sleep in her closet...the parting is so sweet, never sorrowful...and gently I whisper, "Je t'adore mi amor...until next time."

Ms. Ella Fitzgerald sings notes from the Heavens:


When love comes in and take you for a spin,


Oo la la la, c'est magnifiquè.


When ev'ry night your loved one holds you tight,


Oo la la la, c'est magnifiquè.


But when, one day, your loved one drifts away,


Oo la la la, it's so tragiquè.


But when, once more, she whispers, "Je t'adore,"


C'est magnifiquè